Beloved friends,
A few years ago our friends Mamie and Kayvon asked James and I to speak at their wedding. Three couples, young, middle-aged, and elder, were invited to share advice about marriage as part of the ceremony. This is how we met Lisa Rowland, who was the officiant, a longtime friend of the bride, and a lovely person. Dear to her heart is improv; she is a gifted actor and teacher in this art, and invited us to come see a show. The next time we were in San Francisco, we did. BATS has a tradition of Shakespearean-style show, and that is what we lucked into: an improvised Shakespeare-esque romantic comedy. It was my first improv show, and it was mind-bending.
Improv works on the principle of "Yes, and...". If I say, "I am riding a giant green rhinoceros and as it thunders toward you I hurl a water balloon full of ink in your direction," you respond from the principle of "Yes! And..." You do not say, "Actually, it turns out the balloon is full of grape soda!"; you accept the premise I have offered and build from there. Improv is a commitment to connection and collaboration. Since it unfolds in real time, with an audience, it requires profound presence and creativity.
In this show Lisa was playing two characters: one of three sisters – the smart, snarky one – and one of the men. As the improvisation rolled along and the characters paired off, Lisa was handed a predicament: all the other characters paired off. This meant she needed to improvise a love scene consisting of brilliant, Shakespearean ripostes in which two characters who have appeared to hate each other fall in love – and she was playing both of those characters. The room was electric with suspense and delight as Lisa took the stage. Watching the performance was incredible, seeing Lisa move from one role to the other, riding the wild edge of the moment as the scene, the jokes, and the relationship hurtled along.
Yesterday my husband sent me a news item and I looked at the date to see if it had been written on April 1. It had not. Today I read a news story which was so distressing that I lost the capacity to speak for a while. We had just finished lunch. I was at the dining table and James had carried dishes to the kitchen. I made a small noise, he asked "What?", and I was just dumb with shock and horror. I worked my way through it and the day flowed on. The world keeps happening.
This moment in the world is so much, so fast. I keep using this gif when asked how I am doing:
by which I mean: "I got this, but holy everything, it's SO MUCH."
I found myself musing on last week's newsletter long after I'd sent it. It centers on the phrase "cleave to pleasure" and also introduces the idea of moral injury, a concept created to describe the experience of Vietnam veterans, as something most of us are likely to be experiencing right now. The wildness of this moment, the speed of change, the sheer volume of tragedy... it's so much. It can be tempting to numb out, to tune out, but living calls us to be present.
To show up for living right now we need to be resourced: we need joy and whimsy, we need to be connected to our moral compass – which likely speaks in sorrow and rage, and we need to be connected to one another and to life itself. "Yes, and..." is a gift in these efforts. It invites and reminds us to meet the moment and work with what it contains. It speaks to willingness, connection, and presence. It is a powerful tool: it gifts us agency. We can pivot, endlessly. "Yes" accepts what is while "and" opens the door to whatever it is that comes next. Yes, this is hard. Yes, this is terrible. And I get to choose how to live, how to move, how to meet this moment. I am planting a garden. I am raising my voice every day. Saturday I'm gathering with people in a space I rented where I will gift my knowledge of Thai Massage and the folks who join me to enjoy it will make donations to our local food bank. This is my resistance showing up in the form of love and joy.
Love and joy showed up for many of us last week alongside awe and wonder as we watched the Artemis II mission. What a medicine it was to see good, kind, brilliant people being decent to one another, loving the life of the Earth and cosmos, and expanding the scientific knowledge of humankind. Goodness. We did this, together. With our taxes, our schools, our government. It's good to remember the good we can do.
Friend, I hope that "Yes, and..." can be a tool for you as well; I hope that it can remind you of your agency and creativity. You belong to life, to the cosmos. You are the life of the universe dancing. We make this world, together, each of us and all of us.
Love,
Dahlia
Resources
I love you to the moon and back
If you want to see more of the Artemis II mission, here's NASA's multimedia resource collection for the mission, which is free to peruse and download, because this belongs to us, together. Annnnd here's your final invitation until the fall to come ground in yourself, the Earth, and the life of the universe: Cosmic Grounding is about to begin. I will offer you the most glorious refuge I can.
Speaking of love
Here are the words James and I offered when asked to share advice for marriage:
They come in the form of an extended metaphor of trees, inspired by Richard Power's incredible novel The Overstory, winner of the 2019 Pulitzer Prize in fiction.
W. W. Norton & Company
Mind-bending
Did you know that when cannabis use begins before the age of 16 it is associated with lower brain volume, and when begun after the age of 25 with higher brain volume? I learned it from this excellent summary of the current state of our knowledge about cannabis and the aging brain.
The Beginning Comes After the End
Is the latest from Rebecca Solnit. I read it last week and it is a gem. I continue to recommend Hope in the Dark if you feel hopeless, despairing, or want to move from inaction to action in this moment in the world. The Beginning Comes After the End is a wonderful companion, putting this moment in a historical perspective which I for one found a relief and a source of hope. Rebecca is taking the long view because, as she says in the book:
"If knowledge is power, memory and perspective are among its most important aspects. Only in the long view can you see the patterns emerging, the way the present builds on the past, the way past surprises guarantee more surprises are coming, the ingredients of change over years, decades, centuries."
I read this book on Bookshop's iPhone app and it was a tremendous pleasure. You can slide slowly from page to page, which makes the process of making a highlight that crosses from one page to another far easier than on that-other-app which belongs to folks to whom I am giving as little money as possible.
Resistance is love in action
Giving
Each quarter when I pay my estimated taxes I donate 5% of my income as a personal practice of tithing. This quarter I (and therefore we, if you have paid me) supported the Food Bank Growers, an organization in my community which "grows, gathers, and gives away nutritionally-dense fruits and vegetables to build healthy, vibrant communities, improve food security, and decrease food waste for our Jefferson County neighbors." If you'd like to consider joining me, you can check them out here. The PT Gleaners, who I mentioned last summer and autumn, are a part of this organization.
Taking Action
Climate Action Now has a new app to support folks in taking action to support the life of the Earth. Thanks to Jess Craven
Communities Not Cages is an April 25 day of action against ICE warehouses. Learn more from Indivisible.
May Day Strong is a May 1 day of Workers Over Billionaires marches and walkouts. I've taken the day off my work schedule. Join me?
I've got a doc going for collecting these resistance resources over time for your ease of access. It's only a week old, so there's a lot of room to grow. I'd love your suggestions for additions!
Supporting me in supporting you
This is entirely human work – my work, done by hand, with my own mind and heart. I do not use AI in the creation of what I offer you. I don't have one. I invest at least half a day each week in creating this for you. It's a labor of love; I currently earn about $15/hr. If you enjoy my work you can give me a raise! You could make a one-time donation of thanks of any size. You could upgrade to a paid subscription for as little as $5/month.
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Sharing my newsletter is also a gift: to lift my voice, to spread my reach.
If you are a supporter, thank you; I am honored and humbled by your willingness to support my work in the world, and you have put food on my table.
